Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Reading Glasses

Since I am not 18 anymore things have slowly began to go downhill. Well, I'm okay generally, I can still walk a few miles if I have to, I can still cycle into work at some speed. But it's the eyes that are beginning to give out. I got glasses when I was 11, and then started wearing contact lenses some 15 years later. Now I'm back to glasses, because I need reading glasses. I went to the optician a while ago to have my eyes checked and he was a very nice and a very funny man. He just advised me to get some cheap reading glasses ("Oh, so I can go to the department store next door and get some". "Yes, or you could get them from me") and told me that that would be enough for the next few years, it all shouldn't get much worse. He had the same problem as me "Well, we are more or less the same age". He was something of a charmer.

Now I find myself becoming more and more dependent on my glasses. In a shop I have trouble reading the ingredients on various products, and sometimes I need to to make sure they really are vegetarian, at the computer I sometimes cheat and make the letters a little bigger, but I do need my glasses, and now it is during meetings I have to get them out when I want to read the minutes. I'm not the only one, but it does take some getting used to.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Luka Day

I just got Luka's new CD, "Tribe". He's made this one together with Simon O'Reilly, so it's different from his other work. Then again, Luka is forever changing, finding new roads. I am not sure what to think of this one yet, I guess I'll need a little time to get used to it. It is very interesting to listen to, though, and I don't think I will tire of it soon. It is one of the things I like about Luka, he will always come up with something else entirely and will still be Luka.

Blinds

The blinds in this place live a life of their own. As I sit here trying to get my project organised they go down again, and I am in my little cage. Then, shortly after, they go up again. I know they are testing at the moment, but it is a little silly, and pretty distracting, especially if you are trying to think.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Darkness and Light

I work in a little glass box. It's narrow, isolated, but nice and quiet. Today it is strange though because I seem to be locked in. Last week new brise-soleils (?) were placed on the windows, and for some reason they are closed today. Not that there is any sun, they simply are closed and there is no way I can open them. It makes for a very limited view of the world and for a lot of darkness. I prefer to be in a place where there is a lot of light, and where I can look out and see something of the world.

As I am writing this, suddenly, I get my view on the world back. No sunshine, but a grey and cloudy day, the kind of day that makes you want to either go home and crawl up in bed with a really good book, a box of chocolates and a pot of tea, or go for a long walk in the dunes. No such luck for me today...

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Anatomy

Yesterday I was at the Natural History Museum. They have a great bookshop, so whenever I am in Leiden I try to go and have a look. This time I went to the museum itself again, I was tempted by the "Extremes" exhibition, all about extreme heat, cold, wet, dry. That was pretty good, a lot of things to do for children, like there are everywhere in the museum. You could test the wind chill factor, for example, which was quite funny to do. And they showed an Antarctic Ice Fish, which I found interesting.

I hadn't been to the museum for about a year or so, and you always forget so much. Like the three whale skeletons, or part whale skeletons right at the back. After being back in Antarctica and at the whale museum in Harberton I noticed these again particularly, a Sperm Whale, a Southern Right Whale and a Sei Whale.

I also ended up in the other temporary exhibition on human anatomy. I don't think I saw all of it, it felt a little strange walking round there. They showed a lot of samples from the anatomical museum of Leiden University Hospital, so you get to see a lot of things that can go wrong, and these aren't models. And to see a cross section of a human head is fascinating, but it also is pretty disconcerting. I wasn't really prepared for this, because I didn't know the exhibition was on. The images stay with me though, they did make an impression.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Where Blue Lives

I went back to the place where blue lives. It is as far south as you can go, where the world seems white, but is blue deep down. The ice and the snow make Antarctica seem white at first, but when you get a glimpse of the world underneath, through the icebergs you see floating everywhere, or on the sides of the glaciers, you can see the purest and the deepest blue. To me that is a sign that blue is the colour of the world underneath, like the world you can find under the surface of the sea. That big white continent hides the ultimate blue somewhere deep down inside, it is part of the mystery.

The south can bring out the best in people I have seen. People are rendered speechless. Some can sit for ages on deck looking at the scenery, or can kneel down on a beach to try and ocmmunicate with a penguin. This year we sailed through the Lemaire Strait on an extremely misty day, you couldn't see the mountains on either side. You could see the icebergs in the water, and the Crabeaters and Leopard Seals resting on them. You could feel the silence, and it was the most impressive thing to me.

Some people underestimate the south. They start planning their next holiday even before they come into port, and that sometimes frightens me. If Antarctica becomes just another holiday destination, then what will be left of it in 10 years time? How many people will go and simply mark it as another distant place to visit? On some trips we have the dreamers, the people who always dreamed of travelling down to the continent, the quiet ones you slowly have to prise
away at the last landing. They will take the continent with them. Like I do, I guess.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Blast from the Past

In the changing rooms at the swimming pool today they played "Crazy Horses". It always makes me smile.

Land and Water

Yesterday I spent just a few minutes near the old docks, the area of Amsterdam which is being redeveloped and which provides, very fashionable, housing for a lot of people. Some of my colleagues live there. The architecture on Java Island is fascinating, and I like the way the old warehouses are integrated into the new area. The best example of this is the way the Schaeffer bridge lands right underneath an old warehouse, which is still in use these days. It is nice to be near the IJ, to see the water and the way the water and the land fit together.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Oud West

I live in a part of Amsterdam that I really like, though I guess I ended up here more or less by accident. The area is called Oud-West and much of it was built at the end of the nineteenth century, very fast, to provide housing for the lower middle classes. The area has long, straight streets, most houses are about four floors high, and are divided up into appartments. It's a busy area, with too many cars and not enough trees, but it is both urban and suburban enough to feel good. The scale is just right, and I like the architecture.

I also like the history and the liveliness of the place. And then there is the literature. W.F. Hermans, one of Holland's greatest 20th century authors lived here, and wrote about the area, and for me it will continue to be associated with this man and with his work. And part of "De Kleine Waarheid", one of the ultimate Amsterdam novels, takes place in the Brederodestraat. I guess the literary connotations are everywhere simply because the streets are named after Dutch authors.

Towards the centre of Amsterdam, almost on the edge of Oud-West, is the former Wilhelmina hospital, an area now used by artists, which is full of life and has one of Amsterdam's nicest restaurants. The old hospital wasn't demolished, many of the buildings were renovated and are still in use.

I live on the edge of Oud-West, close to the park, where the houses were built just a little later, and my house is just a little bigger and lighter. I live on the third floor, on a corner, so I have a lot of windows and a lot of light coming into my house. That was one of the reasons why I bought it. That and the fact that it still has the old sliding doors, and an original kitchen cabinet. One that reminds me of scenes in the television adaptation of "De Kleine Waarheid".

Why does everything always come back to books?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Lent

Lent just started, the time of year for reflection. I guess that is what it means to me. Lent is a time of taking less, in every respect, of restraint. For me it also is the time when I think of Boudewijn. He was my colleague for almost ten years, and though in some ways I got to know him very well, in other I never really got close to him.

I remember when I first met Boudewijn. The company I worked for had just started out, and was located in a house near a canal. The downstairs room wasn't really in use, there were a couple of desks upstairs with some computers and a printer. I worked there for two days a week as a secretary, just so that I had a steady income while I worked as a free lance journalist for the local paper. I had to answer the telephone, do some data entry work and some secretarial work. The company consisted of a director and two part time employees, but most days I wouldn't see anyone. Then Boudewijn became involved, and he came to inspect me, obviously curious. He gradually became more involved with the company and helped build it to a great extent. He was committed, dedicated and very clever. He worked many more hours than he was paid for, he was always keen to devise new systems and work on new ways of solving problems. And he was creative, so he always managed to come up with these new solutions.

Over the years I became more involved with the company myself, I started working more hours and got many more responsibilities. I started working on projects, and more closely with Boudewijn. He taught me the things I needed to know, and took me with him to meet the people we worked for. Often that would mean travelling down to the various Dutch airports, because the work involved environmental research for airports.

He was passionate about his work, but equally passionate about his music, he played trombone in a band, and about playing golf. He was very upset when he lost his swing for a while. I once went to see his band play at an open air fair and was both surprised and not surprised. Every inch of him was put into the music, and his passion became visible, but in the end it was the same passion he put into his work. I talked to him after the concert, and he was complaining that no one wanted to go in the big roundabout swing with him, so I volunteered. Unfortunately we were just too late, the fair was closing down. That is something I regret.

I always felt Boudewijn lived for the full 200%, and I think he did. We didn't get to talk about personal matters very often, but we did spend a couple of days together counting houses near Groningen Airport. After spending all day together in the car we went out to a Greek restaurant for dinner, and talked about things close to our heart. It is one of those days that I will always remember and that will always be special to me. Just as I remember an asparagus dinner near Eindhoven airport.

What I didn't realise until later was the "black thread" that was always a part of him. When he reached the point where work, and maybe other things, weren't enough anymore he couldn't go on and he ended his life. I remember being very sad, but I also remember being at peace with that from the very moment I heard about it. I had already left the company, but was still in touch with him, and I never doubted his decision. I had such faith in him.

This it the time of year I remember him most because he was in the habit of observing Lent. Not because he was religious, but because he thought of it as a time for reflection, a time of restraint. He had a strict list of exactly what you could or could not eat during those 6.5 weeks, and he would stick to the list no matter what. You could always watch him grow thinner and grumpier, but it was important to him. He wanted to make sure he would stay physically fit and he liked the idea of restraint. For a couple of years I joined him and found out how hard it was, but also how rewarding it was.

I do still miss him sometimes, and when I see a similar looking man on the street I will always think "It's Boudewijn", with a sense of joy, before I realise it cannot be. I guess that means that "The Man is Alive" in some way, and I remember him with great fondness.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Red and Blue

Blue has always fascinated me. I love the colour and I love what it means to me. For some reason the colour always comes back into my life. I had a colleague who had blue as the theme for his life. He was always looking for the ultimate blue, wherever he went and whatever he did. When he was walking around the city he would be looking for blue things that he would pick up, label and store away. He always wore blue, including bright blue shoes, and at his desk even the stapler was blue. He also loved the water, and he loved sailing. The sea was also the place where he would go looking for the ultimate blue, which he thought he would find somewhere between the sea and the sky. Ultimately, that is the place where his life ended.

For me blue is the colour of great depth of things, the colour of the exploration of things nderneath the surface. I guess that is why Luka's "Exploring the Blue" has so much meaning, because the two are inextricably linked.

Then I also love red, because red is the colour of fire, the colour of life, the colour of danger. I love to wear red clothes, because they make me feel good, and they give me a sense of control. It is the colour of the superficial that sets of the blue. The colour that ensures that I don't get lost in too much thought or reflection but also remain alive and part of the world. It is the colour of heat that can set of the cold that can be part of blue. To me the two cannot really be separated, and I need both in my life to make it complete.