Completia

I did, at last, finish reading a book. This one was “Blessings” by Anna Quindlen. I enjoyed it, but there was something missing. I don’t know if it was the pace of the book, or maybe the characters. I couldn’t become a part of their lives, and that is what I like to happen when I read a book. Or maybe I am unable to concentrate on reading books as well. I also finished a book on the history of Orkney. Those islands have a very varied history, but somehow this book seemed to miss the point. I’ve read it very carefully, and I wanted to learn about the people and the great houses, but it wasn’t in there. It was more about ships than anything else. And the writing was chaotic, as if this writer had no editor to tell him where he went wrong. Strange book. I found some of the information I was looking for, and I did finish the book, but I am glad I can read other things again. I’ll have to look for a book that does tell me what I want to know.

I like to finish books that I’ve started, though I sometimes wonder why. I guess I like a sense of completeness, of finishing what I started, but there always is so little time, so why waste it on reading something you don’t really like? But that leaves me in the middle of books I still want to finish someday. And I know I started some books, put them away because I wasn’t interested, and then I loved them when I came back to them. So sometimes it does pay to have another go.

I have a special shelf in my bookcase for books I want to read in the near future, and those I still have to finish. “The Lord of the Rings” is still on there, as is “The Book of Fish”. And then there is “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin”, “A Place of Greater Safety”, “The Autograph Man”, “A Son of the Circus” , “American Gods” and a few others. I am sure I will finish them some time… For some books you just need to be in the right mood. But I always have this hunger for books you just cannot put down once you’ve started them. Just recently I read “I Capture the Castle” and the “His Dark Materials” trilogy. Both kept me captivated, and made me want to spend more time each day reading.

I suffer from something called completia. Once I’ve discovered an author, I want to read all he or she has written. With some authors this works, but with others it doesn’t. You find out that the author is moving in a different direction from you, or you realise that all the books are basically the same and you have now gotten the message. But I find it hard to move on, and not get the next book.

The Road Less Travelled

What happens if you move away from the road you know so well, and just for a bit choose the road less travelled, the one you don’t usually take? I guess it all depends on what you do exactly, but today I used a different approach in my work and it left me restless and unsettled all day. I tend to be the one listening and being friendly, and today I wasn’t. I’ve been patient for a long time, but I couldn’t achieve what I wanted to achieve, and so today I did it differently. I don’t know if I’ve reached my goal, but I did do what I wanted to do, and I more or less said what I wanted to say, and I am almost satisfied. Doing this in a different way took a lot out of me, but it was good to have a go. I should practice this a bit more, just to make it feel less strange.

Then another thing made today a strange day. A close colleague of mine told me in confidence that he is about to leave the project at short notice, but I can’t tell anyone yet. His departure will have major repercussions on the project, and today I found in most of my meetings just how major. So I know he is about to leave, but so much is planned that involves him. This must be a very strange week for the man himself. He is destined for greater things, as they say.

I’ve also realised that I have a lot of leave to get through before the end of the year. Basically I could take the rest of the year off. I miscalculated my days somewhere along the way. There still is a lot of work to be done though, and I have a lot of meetings, so I will work a fair few days, but I will get to take a few days off too. And there will be a lovely long Christmas break.

Any Way the Wind Blows

On Monday I went to see another film, a Belgian film this time, spoken in Flemish, created by Tom Barman, the man behind dEUS. The film is called “Any Way the Wind Blows.” Almost the complete opposite of “Swimming Pool”, a huge number of characters and story lines coming together at a party. A lot is happening, there are relations between some of the characters, much seems to happen at random, but some details show that there is a story line in there and but it does not have a beginning or an end. Interesting though. You just allow yourself to step into the lives of all these people, and then you step out again after about 24 hours.

This is the time of year when you suddenly seem to have to start planning again. I got a list of courses I can take next year for work. So now I have to decide whether I want to learn something next October. And I already have meetings in my diary now for December 2004. That is weird. It does say something about the way you live, I guess. Some Wednesday afternoon in December 2004 I will be in that particular room with those particular people to discuss a particular subject. It makes for an exciting life.

Rain

Rain today. Just the kind of day that makes you want to stay in, have some hot chocolate, read a book on the couch and all that. Then again, I might still decide to go out for a bit later on. Walking in the rain can be good. I went walking yesterday, in a national park near the coast. The great thing about that area is the great variety of landscapes. You start out in a wooded area, then you move on to the heather, then on to the sand dunes and then there is the beach.

Yesterday was a grey day, quite a strong wind, but not cold, and it was dry. Walking into the woods meant feeling and seeing autumn all around you. Moss and fungi on the trees and on the ground, all the leaves there, just a few left on the trees. Then the winter birds all there again, many finches, goldcrests, different tits, robins, wrens and the fieldfares back again. We walked from one group to the next, different sounds and sights. You start out under cover, among the trees, where it remains fairly dark for a while, but then you move out into the open, and you can see all the different colours and shades. The orange of the sea buckthorne, all the different greens and browns of the shrubs and the trees. At the beach I got to see my favourites, the sanderlings, in amongst the gulls.

It is hard to find real quiet out there, though. For a long time you can still hear the sound of cars, then there are the planes heading for Schiphol Airport, and when you walk to the north you can hear the horns of the ships heading for and from the port of IJmuiden. You need to stand still and concentrate if you want to hear the birds properly. But there are all the different smells to enjoy, the feeling of cold on your skin, and you can taste the odd berry.

And why is it that sandwiches always taste much better outside. It feels so great to sit down somewhere where there is a nice view, eat a few sandwiches and drink a little tea. It must be the fresh air.

Swimming Pool

Last Sunday I went to see a film called “Swimming Pool” and that has been on my mind a lot this week. It is a French film directed by Francois Ozon with Charlotte Rampling playing the lead. Looking back I get this feeling I was watching two films at the same time, and if I went to see it again, I might see something else again. And Charlotte Rampling was wonderful again, and so was Ludivine Sagnier, the young actress playing opposite her. So little seems to happen in his
film, but at the same time so much happens. I guess that is what a good book or a good film does, it stays with you and makes you think.

I am sort of in-between books at the moment, and that always makes me nervous. I love to read and to be involved in a good novel, and I don’t like not being involved in a book for a while. I recently read the His Dark Materials Trilogy, and that was one (or actually three) book(s) to get involved in. I’m sure I’ll find another one soon.

Dylan

Sometimes you work hard all day long, you manage to finish one task after another, and then suddenly the day is over before you even notice. I arrived at work at about 8.30, now it is just after 5, and I didn’t take a lunch break, again. I’ve done most of what I set out to do today, and a few other things that came up, and now my head hurts. This is the time of year when I cycle to and from work most days in the dark, and looking out my window now I can see that everything is grey and dark. I guess I need to unwind for a few minutes before getting on my bike.

Last night I went to see Bob Dylan in concert and I was pleasantly surprised. I am not a great fan, I don’t know very much about his music, but a little, and I enjoyed the concert. He is one of those almost mythical names, and to me he is one of the three great rock acts ever, (with the Beatles a clear number one and the Stones number three). I like the music of the Beatles, I am not such a great Stones fan, and I don’t really know enough about Dylan, but somehow those three have always been there. It is great to hear such a man live, and seeing him was definitely worthwhile. I was a bit ashamed though, because the people next to me could sing along to very song, and I didn’t even recognize half of them. Well, I guess you have to start somewhere. And then again, a girl right in front of me was too busy with her mobile phone to be paying attention at all...