Friday, January 30, 2004
Hair
Just back from the hairdressers. I don’t like going to get my hair cut, which is probably why I don’t do it often enough. I made an appointment, but still had to wait for nearly half an hour. At that point I get tempted to have my hair cut really short. And I never know how to explain what I want. Then again, half the time I don’t even know what I want. I usually leave it to itself a bit, and then at some point I will decide I want a complete change and I will have it cut really short again. Then again I usually do that when there is some sort of crisis in my life and I really want to change my life rather than my hairstyle.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Pieces of the Puzzle
Sometimes when you read something it suddenly strikes a chord, and it helps you understand something about yourself you didn’t understand before. People are so complicated, and I know we can never really understand ourselves or each other. You just learn more and more as you go along. And every time I find a little piece of the puzzle it really excites me.
You can find something in a novel, but this time it was a book on psychotherapy by Lilian Rubin. These things always take time to land, but they also keep you thinking. And then you have to work out what you want to do about it. So now I have something to keep me going again. More later..
On Sunday I went walking again after a long time. The dunes, and it was wonderful. A very cold day, but bright and dry. I saw some Woodpeckers, various types of Tits, and some beautiful Smews. The light and the skies were beautiful. It was pretty cold, but not too cold to walk.
You can find something in a novel, but this time it was a book on psychotherapy by Lilian Rubin. These things always take time to land, but they also keep you thinking. And then you have to work out what you want to do about it. So now I have something to keep me going again. More later..
On Sunday I went walking again after a long time. The dunes, and it was wonderful. A very cold day, but bright and dry. I saw some Woodpeckers, various types of Tits, and some beautiful Smews. The light and the skies were beautiful. It was pretty cold, but not too cold to walk.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Veggie
I have something called a “vegetable subscription” at a nearby health food shop. It means you pick up a bag of vegetables every week, you never know in advance what you get, but it is all organic. Sometimes it is pretty straightforward, carrots, onions, cabbage or mushrooms, but sometimes they are strange looking roots I don’t know the name of. I have a very good cook book, so I look the unfamiliar ones up and find out how to prepare them. Our old lady friend knows them all, and she has been known to give tips on the preparation. I picked up another bag today, it contained bean sprouts, endive, white cabbage and two other things I don’t know the English name for. Time to try out more new recipes.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Idols
Tonight I accidentally ended up watching “Idols”, I’d never seen it before. It is an amazing programme. People actually watch this every week…. It is embarrassing.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Chaos
One of those mornings when nothing goes right. I had to catch a bus before going to work for some routine testing at the hospital. Not an Amsterdam hospital, but one in a nearby town. Getting there wasn’t too bad, I was early, so it took the usual 30 minutes. Getting back took twice as long because of the traffic. It always amazes me, so many cars, all travelling in the same direction, standing still half the time. I am so glad I can cycle into work every morning and am not dependent on any kind of public transport. I’ve reached the stage where I don’t mind the rain, and plenty of that this morning, or the occasional flat tire, which means an hour walking home. Twenty minutes on your bike is a good start and end to a working day.
Actually, thinking back, I never really did mind the rain. I remember when I went to secondary school, cycling every day to the other side of town. When I had just started, thirteen years’ old, and it was pouring down. My mother was waiting for me at home, worried about me cycling in the rain, and I had actually enjoyed myself. It helps clear your mind and wake you up.
Then, when I finally got to work, a request to go and pick up some train tickets at central station before one o’clock. That meant going straightaway because of a meeting from 11 to 1. And I was supposed to finish a report this morning. In the end I gave up. Sometimes you just have to stop resisting and give in. I finished my report in the afternoon instead, and postponed a few other things.
Meanwhile, after all that rain, around 11, there was some glorious sunshine, the kind that makes you want to go out and walk for miles and miles. It was a good day for walking, really, in spite of the rain. I can just imagine what the dunes looked like today, and what it would have felt like to walk in the wind and the rain. So was I doing sitting in an office all day?
Well, I had a couple of meetings, very interesting. A change of cast means a change of meeting. You can see it happening. We used to be a steady group of six, meeting every week to discuss current matters and take decisions. We still are six, but a new chairman, and that makes a huge change. It will be interesting to see all this develop over the next few months.
The rain had stopped when I cycled home, so I could go running again. Strong wind, so I ran a slightly shorter route, but it was good anyway. Now that I’ve started I want to stick to it.
After dinner an old episode of Bill Oddie’s second series on birding. This first episode I ever saw of the series was all about Shetland, and I remembered parts of it very clearly. I guess it was one of the reasons why I went birdwatching up in Shetland last year. Watching the programme now I could remember thinking how wonderful it would be to see these sites, and I can remember visiting them. I saw the Phalaropes and Red-throated Divers up at the Lake of Funzie on Fetlar, the huge Gannet and Guillemot colonies on Noss, and managed to get within a few feet of the Puffins, and I got to Mousa to see the tiny Storm Petrels come back to their nests late at night. Oddie captures the magic of Shetland very well. Now I want to go back again.
Actually, thinking back, I never really did mind the rain. I remember when I went to secondary school, cycling every day to the other side of town. When I had just started, thirteen years’ old, and it was pouring down. My mother was waiting for me at home, worried about me cycling in the rain, and I had actually enjoyed myself. It helps clear your mind and wake you up.
Then, when I finally got to work, a request to go and pick up some train tickets at central station before one o’clock. That meant going straightaway because of a meeting from 11 to 1. And I was supposed to finish a report this morning. In the end I gave up. Sometimes you just have to stop resisting and give in. I finished my report in the afternoon instead, and postponed a few other things.
Meanwhile, after all that rain, around 11, there was some glorious sunshine, the kind that makes you want to go out and walk for miles and miles. It was a good day for walking, really, in spite of the rain. I can just imagine what the dunes looked like today, and what it would have felt like to walk in the wind and the rain. So was I doing sitting in an office all day?
Well, I had a couple of meetings, very interesting. A change of cast means a change of meeting. You can see it happening. We used to be a steady group of six, meeting every week to discuss current matters and take decisions. We still are six, but a new chairman, and that makes a huge change. It will be interesting to see all this develop over the next few months.
The rain had stopped when I cycled home, so I could go running again. Strong wind, so I ran a slightly shorter route, but it was good anyway. Now that I’ve started I want to stick to it.
After dinner an old episode of Bill Oddie’s second series on birding. This first episode I ever saw of the series was all about Shetland, and I remembered parts of it very clearly. I guess it was one of the reasons why I went birdwatching up in Shetland last year. Watching the programme now I could remember thinking how wonderful it would be to see these sites, and I can remember visiting them. I saw the Phalaropes and Red-throated Divers up at the Lake of Funzie on Fetlar, the huge Gannet and Guillemot colonies on Noss, and managed to get within a few feet of the Puffins, and I got to Mousa to see the tiny Storm Petrels come back to their nests late at night. Oddie captures the magic of Shetland very well. Now I want to go back again.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Sunday Afternoon
Lazy on a Sunday afternoon. Not really. Just went running again, in between showers. Another rainy day in Amsterdam. Running went well, I managed more than when I went before, a good sign. I went a bit faster too. Sunday is a big day for running in the park, a lot of people out there. I prefer to go just after it gets dark, I guess, but today wasn’t too bad.
Our old lady friend has been ill for about a week now, so we went out and did some shopping for her too yesterday. She is so set in her ways and she has some unusual habits. I had to get her some coffee creamer, but when I arrived at her appartment yesterday she still had a few bottles and some little plastic cups in there. Just like she has about 60 rolls of toilet paper in her bathroom. She is a bit like a hamster. We threw so much out when we helped her move into the home, and now her room is gradually being filled again. She lives alone, she doesn’t have to cook her own meals, but her fridge is completely full, she has more in there than I do in mine. Actually, I don’t know if that is a reflection on her or on me…
I spent part of today looking at old photographs. I started thinking about the Swiss mountains because of the film, and then one thing lead to another. There are still so many beautiful places in this world.
Our old lady friend has been ill for about a week now, so we went out and did some shopping for her too yesterday. She is so set in her ways and she has some unusual habits. I had to get her some coffee creamer, but when I arrived at her appartment yesterday she still had a few bottles and some little plastic cups in there. Just like she has about 60 rolls of toilet paper in her bathroom. She is a bit like a hamster. We threw so much out when we helped her move into the home, and now her room is gradually being filled again. She lives alone, she doesn’t have to cook her own meals, but her fridge is completely full, she has more in there than I do in mine. Actually, I don’t know if that is a reflection on her or on me…
I spent part of today looking at old photographs. I started thinking about the Swiss mountains because of the film, and then one thing lead to another. There are still so many beautiful places in this world.
Friday, January 09, 2004
This, That and...
Went running again today. I surprised myself, I actually wanted to. Hope I can keep this up for a while. Last night I had a lot of energy after running, so it might really do me good.
I had a day off today, and I wanted to go out and buy some new clothes, but I couldn’t find anything I liked. There probably is something wrong with me. The sale is upon us and I can’t find anything at all. I saw some red shoes I liked. I always seem to look for red. I’ve had a pair of red shoes for longer than I can remember. I recently saw a pictures of myself as a child wearing red shoes. I can remember other pairs, and I was told some time ago one of the reasons I got the job I have now were the red shoes. The man who recommended me for the job figured someone wearing red shoes must be the kind of person suited to the company. I am glad he didn’t tell me when I applied for the job. He still looks at my shoes always, and I know he doesn’t approve of the practical ones I usually wear, and he always notices when I wear high heels. It is so funny. But anyway, no red shoes today, so I’ll keep looking. Maybe I should go down to the PC Hooft-straat. There I saw a whole shop window with only red shoes. Then again, the PC,? Not my scene really.
I did love the third Lord of the Rings film. A worthy end to the trilogy. What can I say about it? I think Peter Jackson did a great job, but everyone has said so already. Technically it was great work. All those fighting scenes, the dead, the Orcs, the riders. The city and Sauron. But I guess that isn’t really the thing that makes the films interesting, it really is all about the characters and their journeys. Well, to me anyway. Frodo’s journey for one thing. The story of the Frodo, Sam and Gollum and their relationships. And the human fellowship keeps you involved too. The way Denethor treats Faramir makes you angry and makes you feel for the son. The hopelessness of his battle. Then the relationship between Elrond and Arwen, their great love for each other. And Theoden and Eowen. And the neverending loyalty between Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, and their loyalty to Frodo and his task.
I love to watch Ian McKellen. It is amazing what that man can do by slightly changing his facial expression. The close-ups of him were impressive. I remember watching him at work on stage in London a few times and being equally impressed. I saw him play Richard III at the National Theatre, very threatening. In “Napoli Milionaria” he was extremely funny and he did make me laugh, and when I watched him play the lead in “Bent” he was so moving. Gandalf is so different again, and a different medium and he does it again. The same goes for Bernard Hill, really, a wonderful British actor. Wonderful on stage and again here.
I sat quite high up in the cinema, looking down at all those mountains, and loved the view. It makes me want to go walking in the mountains again myself. I went walking in the Swiss mountains a couple of years’ ago, totally unprepared really, but it was so beautiful. Pretty dangerous too at times, and looking back I can still be amazed at some of the tracks I walked, and some of the paths through the snow high up, but it was beautiful. I should keep up the running, so I can do one of the longer walks when I get a chance. And I had a lovely shower on a very hot day under a freezing cold waterfall, that I will always remember...
Meanwhile, I am back with Luka Bloom. The Amsterdam concert. He just did his Dylan cover “Make You Feel My Love”, which always moves me. And then there is “Monsoon” which cheers me up, “Perfect Groove” which makes me unable to sit still. At his concerts there are songs that move you inside, and for some reason it is always a different song that does that for me, and there are songs that make you want to move like “You Couldn’t Have Come at a Better Time”, when I hear that I can no longer sit still. And then there is “Delirious” where you just sit and watch and are amazed. What is it about this man, the voice, the songs that is so special? But I think I’ve said all of this before. It just never ceases to amaze me.
I had a day off today, and I wanted to go out and buy some new clothes, but I couldn’t find anything I liked. There probably is something wrong with me. The sale is upon us and I can’t find anything at all. I saw some red shoes I liked. I always seem to look for red. I’ve had a pair of red shoes for longer than I can remember. I recently saw a pictures of myself as a child wearing red shoes. I can remember other pairs, and I was told some time ago one of the reasons I got the job I have now were the red shoes. The man who recommended me for the job figured someone wearing red shoes must be the kind of person suited to the company. I am glad he didn’t tell me when I applied for the job. He still looks at my shoes always, and I know he doesn’t approve of the practical ones I usually wear, and he always notices when I wear high heels. It is so funny. But anyway, no red shoes today, so I’ll keep looking. Maybe I should go down to the PC Hooft-straat. There I saw a whole shop window with only red shoes. Then again, the PC,? Not my scene really.
I did love the third Lord of the Rings film. A worthy end to the trilogy. What can I say about it? I think Peter Jackson did a great job, but everyone has said so already. Technically it was great work. All those fighting scenes, the dead, the Orcs, the riders. The city and Sauron. But I guess that isn’t really the thing that makes the films interesting, it really is all about the characters and their journeys. Well, to me anyway. Frodo’s journey for one thing. The story of the Frodo, Sam and Gollum and their relationships. And the human fellowship keeps you involved too. The way Denethor treats Faramir makes you angry and makes you feel for the son. The hopelessness of his battle. Then the relationship between Elrond and Arwen, their great love for each other. And Theoden and Eowen. And the neverending loyalty between Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, and their loyalty to Frodo and his task.
I love to watch Ian McKellen. It is amazing what that man can do by slightly changing his facial expression. The close-ups of him were impressive. I remember watching him at work on stage in London a few times and being equally impressed. I saw him play Richard III at the National Theatre, very threatening. In “Napoli Milionaria” he was extremely funny and he did make me laugh, and when I watched him play the lead in “Bent” he was so moving. Gandalf is so different again, and a different medium and he does it again. The same goes for Bernard Hill, really, a wonderful British actor. Wonderful on stage and again here.
I sat quite high up in the cinema, looking down at all those mountains, and loved the view. It makes me want to go walking in the mountains again myself. I went walking in the Swiss mountains a couple of years’ ago, totally unprepared really, but it was so beautiful. Pretty dangerous too at times, and looking back I can still be amazed at some of the tracks I walked, and some of the paths through the snow high up, but it was beautiful. I should keep up the running, so I can do one of the longer walks when I get a chance. And I had a lovely shower on a very hot day under a freezing cold waterfall, that I will always remember...
Meanwhile, I am back with Luka Bloom. The Amsterdam concert. He just did his Dylan cover “Make You Feel My Love”, which always moves me. And then there is “Monsoon” which cheers me up, “Perfect Groove” which makes me unable to sit still. At his concerts there are songs that move you inside, and for some reason it is always a different song that does that for me, and there are songs that make you want to move like “You Couldn’t Have Come at a Better Time”, when I hear that I can no longer sit still. And then there is “Delirious” where you just sit and watch and are amazed. What is it about this man, the voice, the songs that is so special? But I think I’ve said all of this before. It just never ceases to amaze me.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Running
Today I went running again for the first time in ages. I can’t remember when I last went. I live very close to a park, so I don’t have to go far. I could feel it was the first time in ages, and I had to stop a few times. But I’m glad I went. Don’t know if I’ll still feel that way tomorrow…
Friday, January 02, 2004
New Year
After the party. The new year. The year started in style with snow here in Amsterdam. We went for a real winter walk yesterday, cold, white and wet. The other park this time, it looked lovely.
We had some friends over for New Years’ Eve, a couple from the north and a couple from the south. One little boy included. We’ve all known each other for years, but we only meet up once in a while because we live so far apart. We are all such different people, but at the same time when we get together there is always so much to talk about, to catch up on, and enough common interest. It makes for a relaxing time. At midnight we opened our bottle of champagne. Then we went up on the roof to watch the fireworks. The lovely thing about Amsterdam is that there aren’t all that many very tall buildings. So even from our building you can see quite far in alle directions, and we could see fireworks all around. We could definitely hear them down in the street. The neighbours joined us up on the roof and they brought some of their own fireworks. It was pretty cold, but not too bad.
It is always interesting to have people in the house, especially like this, for more than a few hours. I live in a rather simple place, an appartment, four rooms, no great luxury. Two of the rooms have a gasheater, no double-glazing, so the house tends to be relatively cold. I am used to it, and often I don’t have the heating on, I just put on an extra jumper and a thick pair of socks. If you are used to a new house with central heating this can be a problem. One of our guests kept her coat on for a while and only took that off after we had had the heating on for a couple of hours. She then borrowed a thick jumper of one of the other guests and wouldn’t let that go. Meanwhile, to me the room felt incredibly hot.
Then last night a short visit to our old lady friend in the nursing home. She played Bingo in the home on New Years’ Eve and had won some chocolate and a bar of soap. Then she also had a little party with the people on her own floor. Last year she was still in hospital and spent the evening in her bed, listening to her little radio around midnight. Good to see her back like this again. She did spend most of yesterday sleeping to recover. She’ll be 90 this year.Walking there and back was nice, because by now the snow had stopped, but the pavements, trees and bikes were all covered in a beautiful white layer of snow.
This is almost the end of my end of year holiday. It feels like I’ve been home for weeks, and it has been over two weeks. Work seems so far away, and I really need to dig deep again to find the things I’m supposed to do next week. I’m sure I’ll get there. It’s been good staying at home for a bit though, and doing all of those things I never get round to. The house is clean again, I’m still busy sorting out stuff, I’ve finally started on the books. And I’ve been writing and reading a lot.
I decided a little while ago to get rid of a lot of things, to make room in the house, and I started that a few weeks ago. The first loads have already gone, but I guess they were the easy ones, the ones you think of the moment you make the decision. Now that I’ve started on the books it is more difficult. Which ones do you really want to keep? Which ones are you going to read again? I find that some books have been in my bookcase for over twenty years, I’ve never
thought much about them, and then you decide you want to read them again for some reason. Then there are the books I want to read again before I give them away, but there are so many. Do I really want to spend time reading them? These are the books I probably wouldn’t have read again anyway, and I’d rather just read want I really want to read. And most of the books I am getting rid of I can find at the library anyway, so if I do want to read them again at some point, I can.
Maybe my resolution for this year should be not to buy any new books, but to read all the things in my bookcase I haven’t read yet. And to visit the library more. I could finally finish “The Lord of the Rings” maybe…. Meanwhile, I have started reading a Beryl Bainbridge book. She is a wonderful author to come back to once in a while. This one is about the voyage of the Titanic, so I guess I know the end, but that doesn’t really matter.
We had some friends over for New Years’ Eve, a couple from the north and a couple from the south. One little boy included. We’ve all known each other for years, but we only meet up once in a while because we live so far apart. We are all such different people, but at the same time when we get together there is always so much to talk about, to catch up on, and enough common interest. It makes for a relaxing time. At midnight we opened our bottle of champagne. Then we went up on the roof to watch the fireworks. The lovely thing about Amsterdam is that there aren’t all that many very tall buildings. So even from our building you can see quite far in alle directions, and we could see fireworks all around. We could definitely hear them down in the street. The neighbours joined us up on the roof and they brought some of their own fireworks. It was pretty cold, but not too bad.
It is always interesting to have people in the house, especially like this, for more than a few hours. I live in a rather simple place, an appartment, four rooms, no great luxury. Two of the rooms have a gasheater, no double-glazing, so the house tends to be relatively cold. I am used to it, and often I don’t have the heating on, I just put on an extra jumper and a thick pair of socks. If you are used to a new house with central heating this can be a problem. One of our guests kept her coat on for a while and only took that off after we had had the heating on for a couple of hours. She then borrowed a thick jumper of one of the other guests and wouldn’t let that go. Meanwhile, to me the room felt incredibly hot.
Then last night a short visit to our old lady friend in the nursing home. She played Bingo in the home on New Years’ Eve and had won some chocolate and a bar of soap. Then she also had a little party with the people on her own floor. Last year she was still in hospital and spent the evening in her bed, listening to her little radio around midnight. Good to see her back like this again. She did spend most of yesterday sleeping to recover. She’ll be 90 this year.Walking there and back was nice, because by now the snow had stopped, but the pavements, trees and bikes were all covered in a beautiful white layer of snow.
This is almost the end of my end of year holiday. It feels like I’ve been home for weeks, and it has been over two weeks. Work seems so far away, and I really need to dig deep again to find the things I’m supposed to do next week. I’m sure I’ll get there. It’s been good staying at home for a bit though, and doing all of those things I never get round to. The house is clean again, I’m still busy sorting out stuff, I’ve finally started on the books. And I’ve been writing and reading a lot.
I decided a little while ago to get rid of a lot of things, to make room in the house, and I started that a few weeks ago. The first loads have already gone, but I guess they were the easy ones, the ones you think of the moment you make the decision. Now that I’ve started on the books it is more difficult. Which ones do you really want to keep? Which ones are you going to read again? I find that some books have been in my bookcase for over twenty years, I’ve never
thought much about them, and then you decide you want to read them again for some reason. Then there are the books I want to read again before I give them away, but there are so many. Do I really want to spend time reading them? These are the books I probably wouldn’t have read again anyway, and I’d rather just read want I really want to read. And most of the books I am getting rid of I can find at the library anyway, so if I do want to read them again at some point, I can.
Maybe my resolution for this year should be not to buy any new books, but to read all the things in my bookcase I haven’t read yet. And to visit the library more. I could finally finish “The Lord of the Rings” maybe…. Meanwhile, I have started reading a Beryl Bainbridge book. She is a wonderful author to come back to once in a while. This one is about the voyage of the Titanic, so I guess I know the end, but that doesn’t really matter.
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