Alienation

My first few days back home are always difficult. Suddenly everything changes. Walking down the the street here in Amsterdam I kept seeing familiar figures, Pavel, our zodiac driver, or Mariano, the owner of the bookshop in Ushuaia, somewhere on the street. One of those tricks of the mind or the eye. Moving from one world to the other within 24 hours.

Suddenly I find myself cycling again, after almost three months. First on my bike in Delft, which is unusual anyway, then on my bike here. I first have to drag that down three flights of stairs, something of an effort, but then it feels like I was cycling only yesterday.

Coming back to work is strange. Everything seems the same, I am the one who has changed. And then I see part of the office has been redecorated, we now have a sheepy reading room and lounge area. And I see a lot of new faces, again. I've read about people leaving and saying goodbye, I didn't realise there were so many new arrivals.

When you leave the ship you see so many faces after seeing so few for a long time. Travelling back, flying up to Buenos Aires, during the taxi ride to the international airport, then flying to Madrid and on to Amsterdam. So many people. And again, out here.

What is strangest perhaps is having time to myself. After working most working hours every day for the past 11 weeks, I now have spare time again. I need to decide for myself what I want to do, I have a choice. My life is no longer governed by the regular hours and schedule of the ship.

Being on the move, working all day long, you need a little time to readjust to a different way of life again.