Change Your Underwear, Change Your Life

A few years ago I found this book in a second hand bookshop, and couldn't resist. It is one of those self-help books, but this one is great. The cover is the best shade of bright pink, with a pair of lovely red lips on there, and lots of little red hearts. I know psychology self-help books are as popular and as addictive as diet books, that is why this is such a great book. This is the "quick and easy" variety, very practical, often very silly, though that is probably not intentional, very obvious and great fun. Some things in there are worth trying, others just make you laugh. Changing your underwear obviously does not refer to finally putting on something clean after a couple of weeks and getting strange glances from friends, co-workers and fellow passengers on a tram. Just thought I'd explain.

For me, really, if there is a crisis in my life, or if I really need to change things, it is my hair that goes. I always get this uncontrollable urge to cut my hair really short, and after that things start to change. Or I start to make changes. In the book someone mentions that dyeing your hair does the trick as well. Maybe I should try that next time, my hair isn't long enough right now to make a big change.

But back to the book. It's actually a comparatively old book, published in 1996, and has some sort of public health warning saying this is nog official therapy and the authors are not taking any responsibility. The book is aimed at women and is written from a fairly conservative point of view, at least, to my European eyes. Looking at the tips on relationships I sometimes wonder if I am supposed to treat my boyfriend like my partner, my son or my dog. I can't quite tell. Then again, fortunately I can work that one out for myself.

The language is wonderful too. This is a book for and about "vibrant females". About using tears as a negociating tactic. And it is a book where joining a dating service is described as an interpersonal skill. But it does teach me at least how to "grab my man's attention". It's simple, I "hang on his shoulder like an adoring ornament", I "laugh at his jokes"and I "act interested in everything he says". Or, I can use the complimenting technique. It's as easy as that.

I am making fun of it, and some of it is way over the top, but, as with all books like this, there is some truth in there somewhere. It just feels like this one is all about play acting, rather than being genuine, and that never works.

And if anyone wonders after all of this, yes I did.